Losing someone we love is one of the most emotional and difficult experiences we can go through. At a time when you are grieving, you may also be asked to make decisions and take care of practical matters for your loved one’s final farewell.
It is common and normal to feel lost and overwhelmed, particularly when you don’t know what to do or where to start.
The most important thing to remember is that you do not have to do everything at once. In most circumstances, there is time to pause, say goodbye and make decisions when you feel ready.
At Candour, we understand how difficult this time can be. We’ve prepared this guide to help you understand what generally happens in the first 72 hours after someone dies and what you may need to consider. Every person and family is different, and our team is here to provide personalised assistance and support, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Immediately after someone dies
What happens immediately after a death will depend on where your loved one dies and the circumstances surrounding their death.
If the loved one dies in a hospital or care facility
If someone dies in a hospital, nursing home, or other care facility, the staff will guide you through the immediate process and explain what needs to happen next.
They will generally help with the necessary formalities and can assist with arrangements of care and transfer of your loved one. If a funeral director has been chosen, the staff can liaise with them directly about the transfer.
Depending on the circumstances, you may also be asked about organ or tissue donation. If your loved one had previously expressed wishes about donation, let the staff know.
If your loved one dies at home
Some people choose to spend their final days at home, surrounded by family, friends and the people they love.
When the time comes, you may want to spend some time with your loved one and say goodbye before making any calls. There is no need to rush.
When you are ready, contact your loved one’s usual doctor, palliative care team or other healthcare provider involved in their care. They will guide you through what needs to happen next, including arrangements for confirming the death and caring for your loved one.
If the death is unexpected
If someone dies unexpectedly, or in circumstances that may need to be investigated, the process is different.
Call 000 and explain the situation as clearly as you can. Police and emergency services will attend and advise you about what happens next.
An unexpected death will need to be reported to the coroner. There may be additional steps before your loved one can be released to a funeral director.
The process can feel confronting, particularly when you are already dealing with the shock of losing someone. You do not need to understand or manage the process on your own. Your funeral director can help explain what happens next and support you and your family along the way.
Take time to say goodbye
In the first few hours after someone dies, you may feel pressure to start making phone calls, finding documents, and organising the funeral.
Remember, there is no need to rush.
Ask the healthcare team or ambulance officer what will happen next and whether you can spend some time with your loved one before they are transferred into the care of a funeral director or mortuary.
Where circumstances allow, take time sitting with your loved one, speak to them, hold their hand, or simply be together quietly. There is no right or wrong way to say goodbye. Do what feels natural and comfortable for you.
When your loved one is transferred, they will continue to be cared for with dignity and respect in an appropriate environment. If you wish to be involved in caring for your loved one or have any cultural, spiritual, or personal wishes, let the funeral director or mortuary staff know.
You also do not need to choose a funeral director immediately after a death. Take the time you need to consider your options and choose someone you feel comfortable with.
Choose a funeral director
When you feel ready, you can contact a funeral director to discuss the next steps.
A funeral director is a professional who supports families with many of the practical responsibilities that follow a death. Depending on your circumstances and the services you choose, this may include:
- arranging the transfer and care of your loved one
- explaining and assisting with required legal and administrative processes
- explaining options for burial, cremation, and other arrangements
- helping you plan a funeral or memorial service
- arranging items such as a coffin or casket, urn, flowers and other funeral stationery
- coordinating the logistics involved in bringing a funeral together
Working with a funeral director can help take some of the practical burden from your shoulders. It can give you more time and space to grieve, support the people around you and focus on creating a meaningful farewell for your loved one.
At Candour, we understand that choosing a funeral director is a personal decision. Our team is here to listen, answer your questions and guide you through the process at your own pace, with warmth, clarity and understanding.
If your loved one is receiving palliative care in a care facility, you can nominate Candour as your chosen funeral service in advance. There’s no need to contact us beforehand. Simply provide the staff with our number, 1300 788 881, so they know who to call when the time comes.
Of course, you’re always welcome to contact us anytime if you have questions or want to talk through different options. Our team is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Do I have to use a funeral director?
In Victoria, you are not legally required to use a funeral director. Families can make many of the necessary arrangements themselves, although this means taking responsibility for meeting the legal, administrative, and practical requirements.
If you are considering arranging a funeral yourself, you can find further information through the websites of Department of Health, Birth, Death, and Marriages Victoria, and Service Australia.
Let family and friends know
Telling people that your loved one has died can be one of the hardest things you have to do.
There is no need to tell everyone immediately. Give yourself time to process what has happened, gather your thoughts and decide who you would like to tell first.
When you feel ready, let close family and friends know. You do not have to do this alone.
Consider asking a trusted family member or friend to help make phone calls, send messages or let other people know. You may also want to nominate someone as a point of contact who can answer calls and messages on your behalf during this time.
Looking after yourself
In the days following a death, it can be easy to forget about your own needs.
Try to eat when you can, drink plenty of water, rest, and take some time for yourself. Remember, everyone is different. There is no right or wrong way to feel or grieve.
Most people want to help but aren’t sure what to do. Giving people something practical to do – such as preparing meals, contacting extended family, or helping with children or pets – can be supportive and healing for everyone.
If you are finding things particularly difficult, speak with your GP or consider reaching out to a grief or counselling service such as Lifeline, Beyond Blue, or Griefline.
Think about the final farewell
Once the immediate arrangements have been taken care of, you may want to start planning the funeral or memorial service.
You don’t need to have all the answers when you speak with your funeral director. They will guide you through the different options and give you time to consider what feels right for your family.
It can be helpful to gather any documents or information you have about your loved one. This may include:
- their Will
- any written final wishes or instructions
- details of a prepaid funeral plan
- funeral insurance or a funeral bond
- birth certificate
- marriage or relationship details
- details of their parents and children
- other documents that may help with planning and administration
You may also want to think about how you would like to honour your loved one’s life. Make note of the things that made your loved one who they were — their favourite music, flowers, places, traditions or stories — anything that can help make the farewell personal and meaningful.
There’s no right or wrong way to say goodbye. What matters most is creating a farewell that reflects your loved one and feels right for the people who knew and loved them.
In Summary
The first week after a death is likely to feel like a blur. There are practical things that need to happen immediately, but there is also time to pause, ask questions, and make decisions at your own pace.
You don't need have everything figured out. You don't need to have every document ready. And you don't need to carry everything on your own.
At Candour, we understand that every family, every relationship and every farewell is different. We’re here to listen, answer your questions, and guide you through the decisions ahead – with warmth, clarity, and understanding.
If you’d like to talk through your options or need help with what to do next, please contact us. We’re here for you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
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